Saturday, June 25, 2011

New Dream: "Hoo boy..."

In this dream, I am in a small town house with Dan Cortese and Thom Yorke and we are watching the 49ers play the Dolphins on Monday Night football on Thom's HUGE HD tv. The three of us are cheering the Niners on, and they are kicking Miami's ass pretty bad.

So, we are drinking beers and getting rowdy and Dan sees on tv this guy in red and gold body paint. Dan starts screaming, "Let's fucking do that! Let's fucking paint ourselves in Niners colors ALL OVER. Let's be the best 49er fans IN THE WORLD!"

Thom quietly skitters off and returns with a large supply of red and gold body paint. Dan starts ripping off his clothes until he is standing there stark naked. He starts screaming again, "Fuck yes! I am painting every damn inch of my body! Get nekkid boys, we are doing this thing! My fucking balls will be red and gold!"

I am feeling a little uncomfortable, but hey, it's football, right? Until Dan says, "Well, fuck boys, I am so damn excited for football I sprung a fucking hard on! Oh, look, you guys have boners, too! Fuck it, let's rub these bad boys out real quick and get painted before half time!"

Dan starts jerking it and kinda walks over to Thom and I, who are just kinda standing there. Dan continues, "What's the matter, boys? Never been to a circle jerk? Listen, it ain't like it's fucking gay. What is more manly than getting a fucking drunk hard on for football? Jerk one out for the Niners! RRRAAAAHHHH!"

As the three of us get going, half time hits and the teams leave the field. Shortly after, the door opens and the Miami Dolphins start filing though the small town house to use the bathroom as their half time locker room. Dan motions us to stop all the sudden and walks over to the corner, "Stop...stop...don't let these Miami faggots watch us jerk off. Do it over here so those fucking queers can't see. Stupid buttfuckers."