Monday, June 14, 2010

Dream-Tranny Juggalette



Since I cannot decide whether to go scrupulous detail or "nutshell" on this one, I will just default to nutshell.

The dream starts with the biggest racist at my job rolling up in his locomotive-like pickup truck and asking me if I want to go to a carnival. I comply. This truck is so fucking big that half the trailer park is in his damn crew cab. Big Racist comments that this is going to be the trashiest redneck carnival ever.

We pull up to an old strip mall where a book store has taken shop from an old converted video rental store. They have big signs up that say "ICP TODAY!" "FREE FOOD!" The truck unloads as the gathered white trash flocks to go meet Insane Clown Posse. One kid laments the fact that the only free food is Reese's Pieces and that there "isn't even any Faygo."

As if my subconscious mind hasn't shit on me enough at this point, it goes on to decide that I am not properly attired for the event, so I cross dress as a Juggalette to go get autographs. My outfit? A green wig, clown facepaint, knee high boots, and a towel wrapped around me as a dress. (As if the towel-dress wasn't bad enough, I had made it purposely short and wasn't wearing underwear to..."entice" people...I know...)

There was only two minor subplots. One is where I get all "pro-juggalo" at the shop-keeper for overcharging the kids dressed like punks for books (yes, they were buying books...I don't know). The other was that apparently a prominent feminist author was having a book signing in that shop the same day. Lucky her.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why hello i hope who ever runs this site makes a very smart decision for your future and removes this immedietly!!! I dont know who you are how you got my personal picture or why you used it but im going to find out very soon i already have been talking to a lawyer and i'm setting up a date and getting a case to sew the runner of this web site for slander and much more i dont appreciate this at all I HOPE YOU KNOW USING MY PICTURE WITH OUT PERMISSION IS ILLEGAL. so like i said i hope you make a wise decision and take this down immedietly before your life becomes hell i have police in my family and i ain't playin i'd love to get some money out of your stupitidy and i will sew you !!! REMOVE THIS SHIT you got less then a month before i make my move thanks and goodbye.

Dirty Hairy said...

Whereas I agree my site would be better off without this picture on it, I am politely disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

It means, "No."

Dirty Hairy said...

In all seriousness, though, I found your picture when I did a Google image search for "jugalette". I wasn't out to rob anybody, your pic turned up in like the first 20 hits.

Furthermore, if you had politely asked me to replace the image, one you had intended to be private, I would have been more than willing to comply. (In fact, I am still willing to comply if you are willing to ask nicely.)

However, all this posturing about police and lawyers and legal use of images is bullshit and we both know it. It was ridiculous of you to post, and I didn't appreciate it. I also don't appreciate that you felt like you had to attempt to threaten me to get what you wanted.

So, you now have a choice before you: Approach this situation as the misunderstanding it is and try making a polite request to a complete stranger who doesn't owe you any favors.

OR.

Continue to act like a blowhard and watch me ridicule you.

The choice is yours. I hope you choose to be polite so I can return the favor and be polite back.

Anonymous said...

Me again well sorry for coming at you a little harsh what would you expect if you just started searching on google and found a site with your picture and its all talking bad stuff on the site. i'd react bad.. but if your willing to work wit me then thanks i'll work with you too sorry again and can you please remove this. i understand you just found it too probably got there off myspace somewhere its just a bad name on me a lot of people know who i am and id rather not have friends come to me every week and tell me i have my picture on a web site i didnt approve of ya know. so politely asked please reomve the picture i dont care what you say on your web site thats your opinion i just dont want the picture to be accoiated with it. once again sorry n thanks if ya take it off.

Dirty Hairy said...

Sorry for the misunderstanding, and I am glad I could help you.

Anonymous said...

so have we come to good terms now to take it off ??[= pleaseeeee

Dirty Hairy said...

Erm, I took it off. Try refreshing your browser.