Thursday, April 22, 2010

New Dream-Monty Benoit


So, in this dream, my wife and I were visiting friends out of town to attend a movie premiere for a new Monty Python movie. This movie had no title, but it was a collections of short comedy sketches. I can only remember two of the sketches, and will try to detail them the best I can:

Sketch 1-"Fishy, fishy, retard"-So, this was a redux of the classic "Fishy fishy" sketch, except it was a man trying to teach a retard the lines to the sketch and the retard kept saying "My tongue" instead of "fishy". Try to imagine this directed by Werner Herzog, and you will have it just about right. Also, there came a point in the sketch where the retard says something about "water", and then like a bunch of people in the audience get splashed with water.

Sketch 2-"The rent's due, mothafucka!"-A young lady can not afford her rent and goes to talk to her landlord, 3 middle aged women, about waiting to pay the rent. The older women decide she must work off her rent with lesbian sex. So, that's what they do, in graphic XXX cunnilinguity! The punchline to this skit? One of the older women kills another of the older women with a hammer at the end. WHA HA HAAA! Now that's funny!

...

After the movie, my wife and I retire to our luxury hotel suite that is, in reality, like a mansion. It turns out that we had each chosen separate bedrooms and were going to be sleeping apart. Well, after watching a 4 woman orgy at the cinema, I decided, "I don't care if she wants to or not, I am gonna go get me some pussy from my wife!" That's it, I had put my foot down!

I go up to her bedroom, and up and down the hall in all of the rooms she had set up close circuit television all playing the same violent pornography of a woman being abducted tied up and raped by two prison escapees. My wife then meets me, in the nude, in the hallway and says, "Pick the room you like, I will be right in. Start tying yourself to the bed."

...

So, as I start searching for the room, I get into this wandering labyrinth of hallways that eventually lead me to my hotel suite's private diner (yes, an entire diner for one couple). There are four employees, one cook and three waiters. The waiter that tried to seat me and take my order? Chris Benoit. He had grown out his hair and beard to look less conspicuous.

2 comments:

jessicadwyer said...

Your brain scares me sometimes. But the demotivate poster makes up for it.

Erin said...

Oh my God, does she read this?! I don't care if that was just a dream, I can hear her brain exploding from here. o.0