This is a simple exercise in idol worship from a Klingon impersonating accountant from Iowa.
THE MANLIEST LIVING PERFORMERS
- Clint Eastwood-If you don't understand why "Clintoris" is #1, you are reading the wrong blog and need to go kill yourself. If it wasn't for guys like Mr. Eastwood, America would be full of cardigan-sweater-wearing teetoalers that clean house and read Twilight novels.
- The Undertaker-This is a simple fucking formula. Blood/violence/pyrotechnics? Check. Muscles/tattoos? Check. Undead themes/awesome music? Check. STEEL CAGE MATCHES? Check. Chewing tobacco/motorcycles/biker babes? Check. Throw in having a manager that is deep south ex-Air Force, and getting to beat up Randy Orton whenever you want, and you have a the kind of man that would kick Thor's ass.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger-Even though he has been delegated to gubernatorial duties, Ahnold could ride the coattails of his performance in the Conan movies alone into one of these top spots.
- Robert Downey Jr.- In our first real departure from the ultra macho and performance enhancing, we have a man that has churned out astonishing performances that were fortunately caught on tape between outlandish binges of sex, drugs, rock n roll, and "Who fucking knows?" To summarize, RDJ is so manly that his johnson is the only thing that Paris Hilton's cooch (or Perez Hilton's ass) fears. I am certain the only thing that could kill RDJ is a nuke or the Crimson Dynamo.
- Sir Ian McKellen-That's right, fuckwits. He's been Macbeth, he's been Gandalf, and he will ruin your shit. Don't believe me? Watch this clip and tell me you didn't feel emasculated:
Oh yeah, you just got served.
Honourable mention-Patrick Swayze-When life serves you an ex-con that "used to fuck guys like you in prison", do what ol' Dalton does. Tear his fucking throat out.
*update-Well, technically ol' Dalton ain't with us on this fine planet any more, BUT as long as one copy of Roadhouse exists on VHS or DVD...Dalton...will...never...die.