Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Bacon Covered Clown

Following is a list of events/items from my vacation to the Iowa State Fair that I found to be amusing/pleasurable/horrifying and generally somewhat interesting:

  • There was a clown miked up in a dunk tank that would taunt you as you tried to hit the target with the softball. When I missed the first time he says, "I bet if that was a bacon cheeseburger you wouldn'ta missed it! NYA HA HA HAA!" (BTK, if that clown had a family, his remains are stuffed under the Tilt-A-Whirl.)
  • There was an "evolution critics" display in the Varied Industries building. They had great fundie literature straight from the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Yeah.
  • The voice of the Hawkeyes, Bob Brooks was there and signed my Hawkeye hat! QAPLAH!
  • Furthermore, the Hawkeyes had cheerleaders handing out free posters, a trophy case with out latest Bowl trophy, AND FLOYD OF ROSEDALE! ZOMG! (Oddly enough, there was a small, quiet table with a few posters laying on it at the Iowa State booth...)
  • HONEY. LEMONADE. FTW. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Lemonade Tacos.
  • Really great art exhibit by people with disabilities. Those people are a trillion times more creative and inspired than the average scarf wearing art fag.
  • Now, for the single most redneck thing I saw: There was a..."display" where a monster truck was positioned over a smashed car, and a HUGE sign from the truck window read, "CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON ON A STICK 2 FOR $5!" Like...seriously.


Jacktion! said...

I live right near the Creation museum, and I really want to go, but no one will go with me.
*sad face*

Dirty Hairy said...

If I *EVER* get within a 2 hour drive, I promise to go with you.

You should have seen the booth at the fair, there was enough creepy jesus-freak radiation coming off it to sterilize a bull.