Saturday, April 4, 2009

Drivers in Iowa City suck ass and need to DIAF


When I am out driving, I watch and observe every other driver I see on the fucking road. There are times (about 50 per day) where I cannot understand what motivated an individual to pick up their keys and get in their car. Why? Because, judging by the way they drive, they would be much happier sitting on a bus with a thumb up their ass and their mind wandering.

There is a small highway that goes East/West through Iowa City (Hwy 6). It is probably safe to call it the "main road through town". However, it is not the ONLY road through town. Yet this doesn't stop the namby-pamby-got-nothing-better-to-do-Sunday-fucking-drivers from puttering on out and clogging up traffic with their passive obliviousness.

If you don't fucking care about how long it is going to take you to get from fucking Point A to Point B, take the fucking side roads through town you worthless wastes of breathable oxygen! Just because YOU have nothing better than to fuck around all day doesn't mean there aren't people that actually want to do shit with their lives and don't feel like spending it wastefully slothing behind you at 15mph below the speed limit!

By Kahless' Beard! Don't even bother getting on that fucking highway unless you mean goddamn business!!! If paying attention and moving traffic along in an expedient, rational fashion scares you, TAKE THE BUS and rid us of your inability to function at the most rudimentary level of a rudimentary fucking procedure: driving. You suck and I fucking hate you and I want your car to break down. Then I want your house to collapse on you. And catch fire.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I hear you. Know what kills me? People who drive under the speed limit in the carpool lane. I mean, if you are content driving under the speed limit, why choose the lane that is meant to give carpoolers the option to bypass traffic? Also, recently I've seen a lady reading a novel while driving on the highway as well as a guy brushing his fucking teeth while driving on the highway. Why can't everyone be as perfect as us???