Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Ganja Brothers and the weed stories


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I belonged to an exclusive group called "The Ganja Brothers". There were but three of us, but that was because the strictest guidelines were kept for accepting a new member, and maintaining your membership.

The Ganja Brothers

  • Buddha-This was myself.
  • Cannabisaurus Rex-This was my little brother. (We called him that because he would blaze weed all crazy-like and nigger bowls of reefer.)
  • Dragon Boy-This was my brother's best friend. (RIP homie!)
Now, I could tell you all about our high exploits, but the better stories are of the fucking lame ass fucking losers that we smoked with a few times and how egregiously fucking heinous they were. So, I present you: Weed Bogarting Motherfuckers and How They Were Fucking Gay Loses!

  • When it comes to lame-ass weed smoking, you always have to start with Z the Stinge. This fucking kid would never pack a tight bowl of reefer (he would like sprinkle it in barely half way up), and would be unforthright with his stash. In fact, if it wasn't for his roommate narccing his ass out to us one time (the day Dragon Boy died), his punk ass wasn't even going to light us up in memory of Dragon Boy!
  • Another fucking thing Z liked to do was brag about his 4 foot bong. We heard about the fucking thing non-stop for like a month from his ass. He said he called it "The Lawrence" because after you took a hit from it, it made you say, "Whoah!" (Fucking fag!) So, C-Rex and I finally made it over (we made sure to bring our own weed to his stupid ass' house) to smoke off the 4-footer. I went first, and Z said he would torch the bowl for me (it is hard to reach, even with an "Aim'n'Flame"). As I start drawing, Z fucking starts venting out the chamber a little bit at a time. I took the hit, but immediately afterwards accosted his ass for bogarting my hit with air! Z said, "It makes the hit smoother!" BULLSHIT! C-Rex went next, I pushed Z the fuck out of the way so I could torch it proper like. That little fucking bitch Z couldn't even watch as C-Rex cleared all 4 feet of that muthafucker in one breath!
  • Then there was the Jamie-Lamie. He was this fucking kid that worked with C-Rex. One time he is over smoking with us (we always smoke someone up if they hooked us up), and he starts like "puffing" on our skull bong (our most bad-ass bong) and like all this smoke starts going everywhere and he doesn't clear it! We yell at him to clear, but he had frothed that mfer up so bad that he didn't even get 1/2 the fucking hit down before he started coughing and hacking. The rest of it all dissipated into the ceiling. Fucking asshole!
  • Then there was Suk Long Dong, this fucking guy lived with our main dealer and would smoke with us sometimes. We got an h/o and our dealer brought his bong out. We took a few hits, but it was pulling really rough. Suk Long Dong looks and the bowl is clogged with resin. So he starts torching the bowl and fills the bong chamber with all of this creamy white yummy resin smoke. Just when it looks like he is about to clear it and take to Mt. St. Helens of all resin hits, he fucking blows on the bowl and shoots all of the smoke up on the ceiling! Sometimes I laugh at him when I see his body in my freezer.
  • Finally, there was Big Daddy. He was a fucking idiot, but he bought weed from me every now and then, and would smoke me up. Well, one time C-Rex and I are over at Big Daddy's place (he lived with his parents, FAG!), and we make a gravity bong (sink full of water + 2 liter bottle with bottom cut out). We are all smoking helluhfine gravity hits and blowing major clouds of smoke. However, when Big Daddy takes his hit, hardly nothing comes out when he exhales. (???) Then all the sudden, he starts belching like he beer bonged Beast, every belch providing a huge wisp of weed smoke. Fucker had swallowed his gravity hit! Oh, btw, we called him Big Daddy because he was a needledick.

1 comment:

Oryx said...

I dont know why, but that made me laugh, silly klingon