Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Fucking Retarded Drivers Need To Die


Whereas I do not believe Iowa hosts the worst drivers in the nation, I do believe Iowa drivers, as a whole, qualify as "woefully retarded". I have about a thousand examples I could give (like people that drive slow getting in a passing lane on the interstate and initiating a massive "Clusterfuck On The Mountain" because they won't just speed up and get past the tractor/trailer rig that somehow managed to be going slower than them), but I want to talk a little about one I notice every day on my drive to work.

Iowa City natives will be familiar with the stretch of road I am going to discuss, but for the uninitiated, here is a brief summary: We have only one major road in the middle of town that goes far enough north to hit the interstate, Governor Street/North Dodge Street. You see, Governor St. is a one way that head north though town and eventually merges with the north-bound lane of Dodge, before Dodge splits off into a one-way heading south.

North Dodge St. (northbound) only goes a couple of miles before you hit the interstate. The first mile is mostly residential (25 mph), and then there is a more commercial/industrial jaunt before the interstate (45 mph).

NOW! The thing that irritates me to no end is that in the first mile (residential) people will drive real aggressive and shit and speed (35-40 mph). It is like Godzilla is chasing them.

Then we come to the 45 mph zone! It has a long, straight, DOWNHILL lane for a mile before you reach a light. You are in the clear! Nothing but smooth sailing! Take a guess how fast we go then?

35-40 mph.

I just don't get it! It's not like they put up speed traps there, I have never even seen a cop patrolling the road. Yet, these chest thumping morons feel compelled to just be shitty and fucktard stupid from point A to point B no matter where they are going or what the fuck they are doing. It is like they are completely unaware and/or apathetic to where they are or what they are doing. It is as if they are happy with the little pigpen they have built themselves and want to just squalor in it.

In closing, just shit or get off the pot, people. It is morning rush hour. It is not for the weak of mind. If you cannot operate your motor vehicle like God might have given you a functioning brain, then just stay the fuck off the road until 9am.

No comments: