Thursday, January 31, 2008

Eat shit, Freud!!!




I had the best fucking dream ever last night. It's not so much what happened in the dream, but how I answered a single question in that dream.

You see, in my dream, I was being psychologically evaluated by an attractive young woman. She was asking me a series of questions and typing my responses into her computer.

The real crowning achievement of this dream is when she asked me, "What is your biggest fear or worst nightmare that could come true?"

And I answer without hesitation:

World Peace.


Here is the long version of that dream:

I am a student on campus at some anonymous university. I am walking alone in the evening, headed towards one of the bigger buildings on campus. When I arrive, an attractive young woman (presumably another student, possibly a grad student) greets me wearing a white doctor's jacket.

She leads me to her office and has me sit down, and she sits at her desk and starts pulling things up on her computer. A Q&A session ensues, and she types all of my answers into a form on her computer, with the idea being the computer can "psychologically evaluate" me based on my responses.

When she gets to the question, "
What is your biggest fear or worst nightmare that could come true?", I answer, "World Peace."

She looks at me with a strange glance, and then starts embellishing upon my answer to construe it to mean that my fear was that World Peace could never be achieved. I stop her and say, "No, that isn't what I meant. I mean that I fear World Peace!"

She stops suddenly, looks at me terrified for just a moment, then corrects her form. As soon as she finishes, she states, "That is all, thanks for coming." and opens her door.

After I leave, I walk back across campus to student housing at a non-nondescript apartment building. The idea was that my wife and I lived there with my friend and his wife. My friend's wife had a friend visiting, a young and attractive Japanese woman that was pregnant.

When I get home, her and I are the only ones there. We make some small talk, but she excuses herself shortly stating she needed to exercise. She then walks to the living room, strips bare, lays on the floor and starts stretching. Then she lifts both legs in the air and says, "Matthias, why don't you come over here and fuck me?"

My artistic response was, "Why the hell not? It's not like I can fucking get you pregnant!"

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