Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Candyland dumpster blowjob

The story in and of itself is not that itneresting. This guy got a blow job from this woman out by the dumpster in the parking lot of a bar. What you have to understand is the setting and the people involved.

This is where I introduce all of you to, Candyland. It is a shining beacon of hope to alcoholism, complete with gravel parking lot and cockroach infestation, Candyland sits nicely by the railroad tracks just a hop skip and a jump away from the two porno houses in town, and the crisis center (can anyone say, clean needle exchange?).

Candyland is a filty, dingy, and disgusting excuse for a "hole in the wall" tavern. The manager, Candy (how ironic!) sells cigarettes under the table illegally and has a hell of a time keeping the homeless people out of the bathrooms to shoot up heroin. At Candyland, fine upstanding gentlemen can be found, like T-Bone, Willy the Toothless Drunk, and Cornbread (until his untimely demise at the ripe old age of 58...something about liver failure).

Candy herself is the fattest, ugliest, upper-lip hairiest whore in Iowa, which is truly a monumental achivement. Her trick is to get men drunk and have them worship her beauty.

T-Bone is a lousy drunk that lived on the floor in the back room in Candyland for a while when his girlfriend kicked him out. She came home and caught him in bed with Candy, and literally tossed his drunk ass to the curb. He was arrested for indecent exposure because she wouldn't give him any clothes, so he walked to a friends house. T-Bone is often so drunk, he can barely stand or speak. In fact, if you imagine the most pathetic alcoholic you can picture in your mind (other than me), T-Bone would be his pedophile uncle.

On the day in question, T-Bone got drunk off his ass and Candy decided to reward him with a hummer. He stumbled out to the parking lot, waddled over to the dumpster, and dropped his pants. Candy kneeled on the gravel and went to it. All of this in broad daylight during lunch hour. The special was inch long hot dogs.